Drinking Alone
by Copper's Mama
Summary: Sam/Andy fic, mostly Andy-centric. Andy's thoughts from the end of "Honor Role". Please read and review!


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_A Sam/Andy fic. _

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_Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Rookie Blue ... as much as I wish that I did. Sigh. _

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_A/N: This one is for __**jam-hands**__, who requested I write one with Andy's thoughts from the end of the last episode. _

_I'm so happy that you guys have enjoyed my stories so far - to the point where you're requesting fics. My muse and I are highly honored to be of service. _

_Sorry I haven't posted much today, I spent the last 9 hours working on downloading music, installing itunes, switching over my music, and trying to upload new songs onto my iPod. It was beyond frustrating, and I still didn't get all the songs I wanted onto it. _

_Anyway ... this one is basically Andy's thoughts while at the cabin with Luke. _

_I hope you guys like this one, I know I'll love writing it. _

_As always, please read and review, I live for feedback! _

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She had been on the front porch of the small cabin for about a half an hour, and had managed to make her way through over half of the bottle in her hands. In the back of her mind, she knew that it was stupid. Alcohol was ruining her father, and she didn't want to go down the same path that he was.

But she wasn't thinking about that. She just wanted to forget for a while, and it was as good a way as any.

The warm liquid was bitter in her mouth, with only a slight burn as it passed down her throat.

Luke was still snoring peacefully in his bed, blissfully ignorant of her absence. Andy was grateful for that. If she had to face him right then ... talk to him, listen to his voice, she just might take off again.

It wasn't that Luke was a bad person. He wasn't, he was just ... safe. At the end of the day, he was there. Andy had thought she was choosing the right guy for once, when she'd started things with Luke. But after the incident with Benny, and then the shooting ... her mind was quickly changing. But it wasn't entirely because of his iron stomach or his cavalier attitude. Nope, the problem was less of a some_thing_ and more of a some_one_.

Sam Swarek. Just thinking his name filled her body with shivers; covered her skin with goose bumps. He was ... intoxicating. She could get drunk off of his scent alone. The things he did to her ... well, let's just say they weren't exactly PG rated.

But if that weren't enough, he appeared to have gotten over her. After that night - when she'd gone to his place and practically forced herself on him - he seemed to have gotten over her. She had been planning on cancelling her plans with Luke to see Sam, but then she'd found out that he'd basically given Luke an all-access pass to her. It was infuriating, it was depressing, but most of all, it was disappointing.

She hadn't been able to shake the attraction that she felt for Sam - still couldn't - and it had grown into so much more than that. She'd thought that if she could just talk to him, clarify what had happened that night, that everything would be okay between them. _No such luck,_ she thought bitterly, tipping the bottle up again.

Andy wondered what would happen when she emptied the bottle. Would she go get another one? Would she just sit on the porch steps and let herself sober up? Or would she do something really stupid, like call Sam? Deciding to forestall that idea from becoming a reality, she plucked her phone out of her pocket and threw it down the beach, seeing some sand kick up at the contact. She'd probably regret it in the morning, and Luke would ask her why she'd chucked her phone down the beach, but she'd much rather humiliate herself in front of Luke, than Sam.

Andy sighed, looking out at the trees waving in the wind, and the small waves in the water before her. It was definitely peaceful out here. She wished that she could be here without hating herself. For letting herself fall for Sam, and for letting herself string Luke along. She knew that their relationship was going nowhere ... it had pretty much fizzed out when she'd gone to Sam's after Luke left her for a case. Andy just hadn't had the nerve to end it with him.

It was all because of Sam. Andy took another large swallow of the drink in her hands, thinking of how her training officer had completely infiltrated each and every aspect of her life, and seemed to hold on with a vice grip. She couldn't get him out of her head, no matter what she tried. He'd made it clear that their actions - however spontaneous and brief - meant virtually nothing to him. She just wished it wasn't so. She wanted Sam to want her like she wanted him. She wanted to have a better reason to leave Luke than she just couldn't depend on him, couldn't see herself growing old with him.

She finished up the bottle shortly, setting it down on the porch beside her. Now she had to decide what to do. Sober up, get another drink, or attempt to find her cell phone so that she could make a huge mistake, that could screw her relationship with Sam up even more.

A few minutes passed, and Andy didn't move. She supposed that meant that she'd chosen to sober up. She decided that was probably for the best, and just sat on the steps, looking out at the water.

She thought what her life might be like at the moment if things had gone differently with Sam. If she'd let him kiss her that night outside the Penny? If she hadn't left his place after the lights came back on? If she hadn't gone up to Luke's cabin?

She had no way of knowing what would have happened, but she tried to tell herself that if she hadn't left Sam's place, then he might have fought harder for her. It was a depressing thought, but Andy clung to it. It was better than going off to find another bottle to drown her sorrows in.

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_The end. _

_Well, what did you guys think? Like it, hate it? _

_I might continue this later, but for now, it's just Andy's thoughts while on the porch. A bit more depressing than I normally write, but I blame my stupid cold for that. I hate being sick. _

_Reviews are appreciated, flame if you must, but constructive criticism is much more useful. _

_Until next time ...!_


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